Humour?

I have a problem.  I have a problem with self deprecating humour.  It’s my way of cutting myself down to size when I finally begin to feel confident in a situation.  Sometimes I feel it’s a strategy I use to stay “humble”.  It doesn’t matter how I justify it, it still comes down to the fact that it is hurtful and dishonest.  I haven’t worked this hard to get to a point where I can honestly say that I love myself to tear it down with a few hurtful words that I try to pass off as harmless.  I make these jokes about being ugly, or being unintelligent and I laugh hard about them, but with every repetition I believe them more and more.  That is what we call a huge step backwards in my recovery process.  It tears down the good work I’ve down and it belittles me in front of others.  I don’t even understand my motivation behind this problem of mine.  So what can I do about it?  I need to use what I’ve learned and catch these thoughts before I have a chance to form a joke from them.  I need to challenge these insecurities and show myself kindness.  I need to build myself up instead.  Positivity is a better path than negativity, so try hard to stay on the positive track!  Stay strong and keep the PMA!

  

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