Radically Accept

Its easy to get down when dealing with the storms of life.  Believe me, I know as I’m sure most of you do too.  It’s not front page news that life is not fair and that it doesn’t keep score.  I think we have all experienced that at least once in our lives.  For some reason we tend to focus on the let downs in life and ignore the good things we have experienced.  I’m sure if you think hard enough you can come up with times in your life where you experienced joy.  It could be something as simple as your first bike or something as life changing as bringing a child into the world.  No matter what the reason for your joy, the important thing is to remember that you have felt it.  When doing this we have to be careful not to try to relive it constantly because dwelling in the past can be as distracting as worrying about the future.  I use this to simply remind myself that there are good things in the world and that there is reason to hope.  Sometimes when you are living through a hardship this reminder can help you radically accept the pain of that moment and aide in continuing to move forward.  Trials happen; that’s just part of life.  It is how we choose to deal with them that is important.  Radical acceptance has been a major challenge for me.  It is uncomfortable and at times maddening, but in order to move past difficult situations it is necessary.  Let’s say your girlfriend/partner broke up with you out of nowhere.  That is a very emotional and “bad” situation.  Our first instinct is to be upset and dwell and try to figure out what happened.  We try to fight the reality of the situation.  I’ve set it before and I’ll say it again: fighting against reality only creates misery.  This is where radical acceptance comes into play.  We don’t have to like the situation, but we need to accept it for exactly what it is, detach judgement from it and move on.  This has been especially helpful when dealing with my wife leaving and orchestrating the journey of moving on.  It sucks and it’s hard, but the fruits of the labour are worth the hard work!  Remember, every moment is a chance to change where you are headed and every second is an opportunity to turn things around.  Don’t give up hope.


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