Winter’s Cold Heart

The thing I hate about winter is how it makes me feel inside. I have an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. It is like this every winter, especially when it’s windy and cold. The calm, sunny days are ok, but the stormy days fill me with dread. It is difficult to guard against this feeling and I may have things in my life worth being sad about, but I have to work hard at keeping hope in sight. How do you do it when the snow is blowing wildly outside and the darkness is on the land both when you get to work and when you leave work? This is a mystery that eludes me each and every year. I get so down on life and find very little joy in the things that normally cause me to smile. I dwell longer on the things that weigh heavy on my heart. I find the tears flow more freely and the self loathing becomes more prominent. I need to be vigilant during these short days and dark months. I need to force a smile or two and not worry so much about things that are beyond my control. There is hope out there somewhere; even during the cold winter months.

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