Open

I like to think I live my life open to all possibilities. Sometimes what I think I am and what I really am are two vastly different things. I get comfortable and I settle in. I find something recognizable and I hold on to that. I shy away from anything that could take me out of my comfort zone. I will stay in a lack lustre situation just because I don’t want to test the unfamiliar waters. I can see how much this tendency can be holding me back from a full life. I can easily find reasons why I shouldn’t climb out of this hole I have so readily prepared for myself. I am wary of new friendships and am too damn awkward to make small talk with strangers. I could practice this more and possibly broaden my circle of friends. The reality is that I have my very small number of people whom I trust completely and I am constantly afraid that I will lose that. I expect good things to be taken away from me, so I don’t pursue them with as much gusto as I could. That is my issue to deal with. I need to challenge myself to chase these things. I need to challenge myself to get uncomfortable. It terrifies me.

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