Hard Times

Life is hard on the soul. It is difficult to stay hopeful when your plans never seem to pan out. Maybe I’m just too impatient. Who knows. All I know is that every day is a battle and every night seems like hell. I’m man enough to admit that I’m not that ok, but I’m not going to sit here and complain. I’ve got to get out of this mindset and somehow soldier on. One of the best things to happen to me has been put on hold and I have no idea how long. I try not to think about it and live in the moment, but it is always on my mind. I know it’s necessary, but by no means does it make it easier. I need to focus on my kids and how much I love them. I need to be patient and I need to keep my mind busy. It’s easy to start feeling sorry for myself and lose hope, but I must guard my heart from that old habit. I’m going to smile for my kids and remind myself that I am worth something. I am worth fighting for. I am worth people’s time. I am worth more than I give myself credit for. This is really hard for me to say because it feels selfish, but it is something I am learning to do. How can I be any good to others if I feel I am worthless? I’m not worthless. I’m a good Dad, I’m a great employee and I’m a good son. I need to hold on to these things and start believing it. No one has a perfect life and everyone has their battles to fight. “Dig deep for the strength that you seek, it’s there!” – Madball

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2 thoughts on “Hard Times

  1. Add to that a good friend first and foremost to yourself. Its a tough lesson and one many of us need to relearn continuously, how to treat yourself with the kindness, patience and understanding that you would extend to a beloved other. This time of year takes the mickey out of so many people and the bitter cold doesn’t help. In some small way knowing you are not alone in this headspace helps sometimes. Hang in there, there are brighter and warmer days to come.

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