Alcohol

These last couple weeks have seen me tempted by alcohol. It once served as my escape from trying times or awkward social events. It’s been over a year since I last touched the stuff and I am quite proud of that. It was a crutch that was killing me and almost did. The last time I drank, I wound up in a hospital bed, naked and covered in vomit. Not the most flattering of situations. I have no plans on falling back on booze to help me through this trying time, but I must admit that the urge is strong and very real. I am strong enough to say no. I think of that last drink and the terrible night that followed and I can say never again. I am in no way beating on those who choose to partake, all the power to you, but for me, I could never do it again. It’s a personal choice and I would never cut someone out of my life for choosing to drink. I found that there was quite the vicious circle when it came to drinking. I’d feel depressed or anxious, so I’d drink, only to feel worse the next day. I would then decide to drink more to forget and the cycle continued. I started hiding my booze and drinking in secret. That’s when it really came off the rails. That is why I don’t drink. That is why I am Straight Edge. I did it because I was self destructing, not because I could feel superior. Not because I wanted to belong to a larger group. I do it for me, my kids, my family and my friends. I do it because I want more from life. I do it for my future.

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