Rigid

I’ve really been struggling with ideas to write about lately.  I enjoy this too much not to write anything, so I’m going to try to pull something off today.  I’ve never been that good at winging it and always prefer to have a plan to follow.  I like to know what I’m getting myself into before hand and get very anxious if said plan falls apart.  It’s definitely a control thing and is something that needs to be worked on.  I’ve spent most of my life saying that I don’t need to work on these things because it’s “just how I was born”, but in reality I would have a higher quality of life if I learned to roll with the punches.  I think I’ve said it numerous times, but life does not care what your plans are.  Life happens whether you plan for it or not so why fight against it?  Improving myself is not the same as losing myself.  I will still be me, just a more productive version.  I think this is an important thing for me to realize.  I have feared that improving on certain things in my life will change who I am.  I don’t have to change who I am at the core in order to improve myself.  I can still be a caring, compassionate man while I learn to love myself more.  I can still try to be selfless while I learn to be kind to me.  I can still love my loud music while I learn to be more gentle.  I can still be me.  That is very important to me and I’m going to remind myself of that daily.  Plans aren’t necessarily bad,  but the ability to adapt to changing circumstances is a valuable thing to learn.  I’m not stuck being plan oriented.  I can learn new skills to deal with life’s unwanted changes and I can keep myself as I learn them.20140804-093732-34652063.jpg

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