When my wife left me I stopped taking care of myself. I wasn’t showering, I wasn’t eating healthily and I wasn’t taking care of my diabetes. I am a type 1 diabetic and have been since I was 19. I need to watch what I eat and monitor my blood sugars. I have to take insulin injections regularity and it has a all encompassing effect on my health. I didn’t stop taking my insulin, but I wasn’t taking care of myself. I would lay around eating chips and candy, rarely testing my blood to see how far off I had become. I didn’t care. It was far too much work and I was exhausted. I’m not saying that my lack of care was excusable, but I’m just hoping to help you understand my emotional state. I was devastated and I didn’t have the energy to care. I’ve turned that around thanks to the quality people in my life and a change in attitude facilitated by the STAT program and the therapists who staff it. Like anything else in life, you can gain tools at any point in time, you just have to be willing to use them as well. It can take a lot of effort, but in the long run is worth it. I have found some incredible people in my life both new and old and without their help I may never have broken out of the cycle of self harm. There are still days where I want to regress, but I look to my friends and family for strength and I can make it through. It is entirely ok to ask for help, anyone who tells you differently is not worth your time. Love yourself, even when you don’t want to. Take time to care for you as you are no good to anyone else if you’re dead. Life is hard, I’m not going to tell you any differently, so why make it harder by making yourself sick? There are people who understand.