I rarely take risks anymore. I don’t know if this is good or bad, but it’s true. I tend to stay where I’m comfortable and not take huge leaps into the unknown. It could be in relationships, work life or other aspects of my life, I try to stay in my comfort zone. Where has this gotten me? I work an unfulfilling job, I am disappointed with my musical career and I’m single. I am unhappy with the state of my life and I owe that to being comfortable. I’m poor, I’m tired and I’m depressed. How is it some people can make these leaps into the unknown and never falter? Am I simply a weak person? Am I over the hill? I feel as though I’m long past my prime and as such am terrified of moving in a new direction in life, even if that direction is towards a better future for my kids and I. I am afraid of making myself vulnerable and therefore am scared to put myself out there as far as my love life is concerned. I’m afraid of being hurt again and am afraid of being rejected. I have no one to blame but myself and I know my worry is holding me back. I ask myself daily what I want from life and my answer is always the same, to be happy. I don’t know what that looks like and I don’t feel it inside, so I continue to search and fear the answer. There are those who know what they want and have the strength to persevere and obtain their goals and then there is me, comfortable in my misery. I need to dig deep and find the strength inside to go after my goals and not fear failure or rejection. I need to worry less and do more. It’s not so simple, I know it’s very hard, but it’s something I need to work at. I need to figure out my goals and find a way to reach them. Ambition is something I admire in others and lack in myself. I am me and I will be the best me I can.