What if I had never had my breakdown? What if I had never suffered with anxiety, depression and other mental health issues? What if I had gone to STAT when this all began? Would things have been different? These are the thoughts that have been popping in my head today. All of these what ifs. Are these worth the effort to answer? No, they aren’t. Attempting to find scenarios that answer these has brought me nothing but misery today. Why? Well, because they are hypotheticals based in the past; a time that has passed and cannot be changed. My life is right now, not back then. Fighting against the past is as helpful as pushing a pull door, in the end you look foolish. I can take these lessons and apply them to any future relationships I may have. I can only live right now, not in the past and not in the future.