Impossible

When my marriage ended I thought it would be impossible to go on.  I convinced myself that I could not exist without her and that there was no way of going on.  I would work myself up so much that I couldn’t breathe.  Oh how life has shown me a different story.  Not only am I existing without her, but I have found hope for the future as well.  We rarely see clearly when faced with such circumstances and through all the “it gets better” advice we end up having to simply live through it and learn from it ourselves.  Today I realized just how far I’ve come in a short time and how thankful I am for the supports I’ve had on the way.  Adopting an attitude of positivity and taking responsibility for my actions played a key role in this healing process.  I woke up everyday and told myself that it would be a better day than the one before and most of the time it was.  I still need to talk myself up every morning, but it gets easier all the time.

Every moment is a chance to start again.  If I find myself ruminating or stumbling down the dark road of regret, I simply bring myself back to the moment and start again.  There is no judgement on myself for going down that road, merely a shift back to the present and a new choice to go down a more productive road.  It’s difficult to master completely and by no means have I perfected it; I am still in my infancy when it comes to this practice.  The joy is that no matter where my mind goes, there is always an option to start over.

 

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