They’re Back.

The hallucinations are back.  Like before, they are nothing to fret about, but are still upsetting.  A constant feeling that someone is standing over me, judging me, but always just out of my peripheral.  The ground breathing slowly and people at the side of the road.  I know it is caused by the stress I have been under these last couple of months and I know it isn’t real.  I’m lucky in that aspect I guess.  I know that these things are merely my brain trying to figure out how to handle this situation I have found myself in.  This is also part of my mental illness that people are less likely to understand or want to understand.  It is an aspect that I don’t like to talk about, but for the purposes of knocking down stigmas I will.  It can be terrifying.  It can be amusing.  It can be annoying.  Either way I can be dealing with them at the same time that I am talking to someone or working or simply sitting quietly.  It is something that I have learned to tolerate, though they had disappeared for a while until my marriage ended abruptly and my stress levels rose again.  I’ll be ok, I really will.  Just know that just because people seem “normal” doesn’t mean they aren’t fighting a raging battle.  If I phase out, I’ll be ok.  I’m probably just talking the ghosts away.

snowday4

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s