I am Not a Saint

I’m not a saint by any stretch of the imagination. I have anger issues. I am mostly to blame for the situation I am in. Over the years I have been quick to change moods from happy to angry and even lose touch with reality. I have thrown things, punched walls, yelled and screamed. I have done these things in front of my children and have hid it well from people looking from the outside. I am no saint. I must apologize if I have led you to believe otherwise and hope you won’t judge me too harshly for the revelation of today. Don’t judge my ex for leaving as she put up with me for much longer than most would have. The last few years we have brought out the worst in each other and in a marriage that just won’t cut it. I am to blame for much of that and I’m beginning to see the volatile nature of my moods. The effects have been widespread and I can’t blame anyone else but myself. My struggles with mental health are well documented here, but they are no excuse for my behaviour. I’m sorry if I’ve led you down the wrong path…20140623-075249-28369327.jpg

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2 thoughts on “I am Not a Saint

  1. To the outside world, many of us are seen to be better than we really are. Our true selves only come out in the presence of those we feel the most comfortable with. Unfortunately, that’s normally the people who live under the same roof as us. They see us for who we really are and sometimes we’re not so great. We all have bad days and they see them. No one is a saint, no matter how much they pretend to be. If we could be a fly on the self-proclaimed saints’ wall for just a day, then we’d see just how much of a saint that they are not. In other words, no worries. You’re just human and that’s okay. At least you’re working to better yourself. That’s all we can do. Learn and correct.

    • It is difficult to admit sometimes and even harder to forgive oneself for it. This is a new journey that I am unfamiliar with, so I must expect to be overwhelmed at times.

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