I’m going to stay strong for the kids. They need me in their lives and I need to remind myself of this when the dark thoughts roll in. I will not give up on myself just because of the rejection I’ve been handed down. I will stand tall and move ahead and be the best dad that I can be. There really isn’t much more to do at this point. I tried to become the person she wanted me to be, but now it’s time to be the person I want to be. It’s time to dust off all the filth that has surrounded me and get back up and trudge forward. I can do this! I know I can. I will learn to exist as my own person and use my failures to better myself. This will be a positive from a negative. This will make me stronger and better. This will help me grow!
Only a week and a half until the kids are off to Calgary for over a month. It’s going to be hard to be away from them that long. It is difficult enough not seeing them during the week! This is yet another hurdle to pass in my quest for healing. Summer holidays are coming and childcare is far too expensive to afford during this time, so my parents have agreed to take them until August sometime. It will be a challenge, that’s for sure! I know they will have a great time, so that makes it a little easier, but still. Stay positive!