I just want to get rid of this pain any way I can. My heart is broken and it is proving very difficult to put it back together. I’ve tried hard to not be “emo” about all this, but I need to allow myself to feel the pain and deal with it if I’m to come out of this a healthy man. I’m not going to lie and at the risk of ridicule I will admit that following every interaction with my ex I usually break down hard. I don’t know what else to do. It’s like the break up happens over and over again. I say over and over that I don’t want to dwell, but today’s post I will be doing exactly that. If you don’t want to read a depressed man’s words than move along right now. When I’m alone all I think about is her; when I’m at work, all I think about is her. I pray to God that this will get easier, but it hasn’t yet. I write a lot about accepting and moving on, but I don’t think I’ve quite made it there with this situation and I know I need to keep working at it. It’s been over a month and I still can’t believe this is happening. This post is far more difficult to write than I expected. I think the best advice I can give to myself is be patient, forgive her everyday (for my sake) and give it time. I’m learning that you can’t rush these things. Short post today as I am feeling really down, unloveable and ugly.