I just want to get rid of this pain any way I can.  My heart is broken and it is proving very difficult to put it back together.  I’ve tried hard to not be “emo” about all this, but I need to allow myself to feel the pain and deal with it if I’m to come out of this a healthy man.  I’m not going to lie and at the risk of ridicule I will admit that following every interaction with my ex I usually break down hard.  I don’t know what else to do.  It’s like the break up happens over and over again.  I say over and over that I don’t want to dwell, but today’s post I will be doing exactly that.  If you don’t want to read a depressed man’s words than move along right now.  When I’m alone all I think about is her; when I’m at work, all I think about is her.  I pray to God that this will get easier, but it hasn’t yet.  I write a lot about accepting and moving on, but I don’t think I’ve quite made it there with this situation and I know I need to keep working at it.  It’s been over a month and I still can’t believe this is happening.  This post is far more difficult to write than I expected.  I think the best advice I can give to myself is be patient, forgive her everyday (for my sake) and give it time.  I’m learning that you can’t rush these things.  Short post today as I am feeling really down, unloveable and ugly.




3 thoughts on “Patience

  1. Your post describes my life right now exactly…I wonder if I will ever be ok…I think about my husband day and night endlessly….every contact feels as if my heart has been ripped out again…I too feel unlovable, damaged, alone and useless. I too tell myself patience will prevail and one day I will be happy again…just have a hard time beieving it 😦

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