The new label of “single dad” is something that is difficult to get my head around. How do I act now? I guess that doesn’t matter as much as simply being a father to my kids. Right now I need to focus on what is best for them and that includes working on my own happiness. I’m told I will be happier with things as they are and I hope they are correct. I need to accept this as it is again and in five minutes, when my mind wanders, I’ll need to accept it again. If only it was as easy as accepting things once and everything was fine. I have to keep accepting the moment as it is even if it is uncomfortable. If I fight it, I only pile up misery for myself. I don’t need any more misery.
What does this say about me? Does this make me a bad person? Does it mean I am unlovable? Does it mean I’m ugly? Does it make me a bad Dad? The obvious answer to all of these is “no”, but the emotional mind wants to attach to these and believe them. It is all too easy to find evidence that supports these thoughts. I need to remember that it isn’t the event that creates the emotions, it’s the thoughts about the event. They occur in fractions of seconds and only in being mindful of the circumstance can you catch and shift those thoughts to ones that incite less intense emotional reactions.