Nothing

I had a very bad night last night. I received my ROE in the mail for a job I thought was going to continue in a part-time capacity so my anxiety rose quickly and refused to fall back down. I did not deal with it well. I did not use any of the new strategies I have been learning and as the emperor would say, I “let the anger flow through me”. I yelled; I swore; I stomped around. I was a child and I loved the rush it gave me. At the time. I loved it at the time. Today is a day of remorse and embarrassment, but even that is not helpful. I need to see this as a learning situation rather than a failure. I realize that the situation effected people other then me, and I am not invalidating the effect it had on them. I see the failure and I see what I need to do differently next time. I need to take mental notes and practice doing the healthy alternative so that when I am faced with a similar situation, I will know what to do. Practice, practice, practice. I can’t let my negative thoughts win, but when they do I can’t berate myself. It’s time to learn and move on.

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