I’m learning a lot about myself during my time in the STAT program and as such have been thinking hard about how I can make positive change happen. I can see now the choices that I have everyday when it comes to how I want to own my emotions and what I want to do about the uncomfortable moments in life. There is one major thing that I have to accept and that is that I do not have control over how people treat me or how people react to me. What I can get control of is what I do with it. It is such a simple thing, yet one of the hardest things to put into practice. It means taking ownership of my emotions and my attitude and realizing that, yes I am wired differently than most people, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a full and happy life. It means that I need to work hard everyday and I need to choose over and over and over and over again to stay positive and keep the PMA (Positive Mental Attitude)! There is reason for hope; there is reason for positiveness. My life is what I make of it and no one can take that away from me. No one can control me if I don’t want them to and I can’t control what others do either. This is difficult to bang into my head. Picture a field with a worn path through the middle where people have trampled from years of short-cuts. You notice that if you took a different way through the field you would reach your destination sooner, but there is no path. You take the new way anyways, noticing that there is no change to the grass that you walked over. After a few months of continually making the choice to travel the new and better path you notice that the grass has not sprouted back and that there is a new path forming. That is what I am trying to do with my negative thoughts. It takes perseverance and a real discipline that I am still trying to muster.
I was thinking today about choices and peoples situations in life and how I will use a lot of the bad things as reasons why I can’t be positive. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past; it is done and you can not change it. Accept it (good or bad) and move forward. Accepting doesn’t put a judgement on the occurrence, it only gives you the opportunity to move on. Imagine yourself stuck in a dark valley, surrounded by the terrifying eyes of the native wildlife. Now imagine you had twisted your ankle in your panic. You have a choice to make at that moment; you can focus on the bad luck that has befallen you and wallow in it’s misery, or you can accept that you are in a pretty shitty situation and move on to figuring out how you are going to get out. The answer seems glaringly obvious, yet how many times do we pick the first option? I know it is my go-to reaction to any bad situation. From what I understand the key is to accept without placing a judgement on the situation. Accept it for what it is and be mindful of your options and decide for yourself what you are going to do with it. You can not control every situation, but you can control what you do with it.