I have been walking the hour and 15 minutes to my program and can feel it in my body. So damned sore, but I really have no other option if we are to make this work. I have yet to hear back from any of the places I applied at and am getting a little bit stressed about money. Who doesn’t get stressed by money? You would think not having it would mean there is nothing to be stressed over. It’s a joke; laugh. I know you didn’t and I’ll try not to be hurt by it. What are my options? I could dwell on the issue and allow it to paralyze me with anxiety, or I could make the most of this time and come up with money-saving strategies. Not using the car is one, being less wasteful with food is another. The sun being up longer will help with the electricity bill and buying less things that we don’t need could save us big time. There are ways to get through this, I just need to get creative and rely less on the conveniences in life. This all seems like a wonderfully easy solution, but the lure of laziness is so inviting. I would rather sit quietly then make food from scratch, but that will need to stop if I am to get this to work.
There is a tiny sliver of hope penetrating the darkness. My band is getting some great opportunities in the near future, I’m learning a lot in this STAT program and University starts in a few months. There is a lot going my way right now and it has been a little easier to deal with the dark side. It has not gone away, nor do I expect to be completely free of it, but being able to cope better is a goal.