I went out and dropped off a couple of resumes last night. I haven’t felt that old in a while. I’m only 32, so not really old, but when the manager is 10 years younger than you it is difficult to not take note of it. I remember when I was younger thinking that people in their 30s were old and over the hill, yet here I am about to start school and looking for part-time work when most people have started their careers. I know I’m making a bigger deal out of this than it is. I am really overwhelmed with the changes coming up. I need to admit that now before it gets to me and drags me down. There is a lot about to change and I know it is all for the betterment of my family and for the best for me, but it is still change. Four more days left here (at least as a full-time worker). Four. After today is three, then two, one and then done. Tomorrow is a short day as I have a doctor’s appointment, so really it’s 3 and 3/4 days. Yikes. The nervousness and anxiety is quite high and it is apparently very obvious as my wife is asking me if I’m OK a lot more than usual. I’d like to see the future so I can comfort myself and see that I’m making the correct decision here. Here I go, over analyzing things again. 3 and 3/4 days. Wow. I have left and come back to this place numerous times and they have been good to me, but it is time that I follow a dream I have kept hidden behind self-doubt and excuses for years. It’s time to move on and “grow up” a little. By “grow up” I don’t mean leaving the other passions of my life, like music and skateboarding, behind, but that I take more responsibility for my happiness. I need to stop using my mental illness as an excuse and more of an inspiration for others. I need to show myself that I can follow my dreams in spite of the crippling depression and burdensome anxiety. As Bad Brains coined, “I’ve Got the PMA!” I need to be aware of my attitude and I need to change it with hard work. I need to realize that I will have to work hard EVERYDAY to make those choices to make myself better. It can be done. 3 and 3/4 days.