Bully

My son has a bully at school. Yesterday he told my son he was going to bring a gun and shoot him. Yes, a 7 year old threatened my 6 year old in a rather disturbing way. We have noticed that our son has been overly anxious this year and knew there was a problem with one of the kids at school, but we had no idea it was this bad. I assumed he was so anxious because both his mom and I have some bad anxiety issues and he just happened to deal with the same thing we do. I’d like to say that I’m not worried that this kid will bring a gun to school, but I didn’t sleep well last night as terrible scenarios rushed through my head. I will answer the first question that probably popped in your head; the school has been notified and they have contacted the parents. I’m hopping that something will be resolved and I’m a little less worried now that the school knows about the extent of the issue. Where do these kids get this from? I don’t remember every being threatened to be shot when I was in Grade 1. Do any of you recall such a threat in early elementary school? Maybe I lived in a sheltered school, I don’t know. I told my son to tell the teachers everything that this child has done to them and not be afraid of getting in trouble for it. He seemed a little better this moring when I dropped him off and hopefully he has a good day. He has enough going against him already (Asthma, peanut and tree nut allergy), he doesn’t need to deal with this too. No child needs to deal with a bully.

On a totally different note, I tried Yoga for the first time last night. I found a DVD my wife had and popped it in. I felt like a fool, but worked through it. I felt pretty good when it was done. My doctor has mentioned it a couple times and I had been resistant to the idea. I think the idea of quieting my mind is what scared me, but if this can teach me some methods to achieve that, I may as well try. If nothing else, I will gain better balance and core strength from it. What is your take on Yoga as a tool to help mental health?

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9 thoughts on “Bully

  1. That was unheard of when I was in school. People were bullied, but certainly not threatened with weapons. I don’t know where they get this stuff from. News, movies, their peers and maybe even their own parents. It’s crazy that your son had that said to him. I would be worried too. Unfortunately, age is no longer a factor when it comes to violence. So we have to really be aware and it’s good that you spoke to the school and your son about this situation.

    As far as yoga goes, it’s great for mental health – at least in my opinion. I find it to be very calming. It’s not for women only. Men have really gotten into it over the past few years, simply because of its soothing mental benefits. I think it’s great. Plus, it helps with strengthening and stretching, so it’s a win win.

    • My mind is blown by that threat. I hope the school deals with it correctly. As for what “correctly” might be, I’m unsure. I never thought I’d have to deal with this situation.

      It’s funny, but the DVD I’m using for yoga is all women, so it was kind of strange at first. Hopefully I can make it a habit!

  2. You are the 3rd parent today (all in division 1 in Winnipeg!) to express frustration over a bully today. Here is the province’s statement on protocol in dealing with a school over a bully issue. I understand that in the new legislation (Bill 18) principals MUST deal with a bully. If they will not, call the school board and ask to speak to a superintendent.
    http://www.edu.gov.mb.ca/k12/safe_schools/parents.html

    Also. Yoga. Was a skeptic, but I like it. It actually builds strength, not just flexibility! Give it the 7 day test and see what you think….and if you dare, try hot yoga. (I know Moksha on Gertrude has a $5 drop in for their Karma classes – they donate the proceeds to charity).
    Good luck on the bully issue. Some schools need a kick in the pants but this is no joking matter!
    Kari

  3. Let us know how it goes with the school. That’s the trickiest part about bullying. Some kind of intervention is needed, but at the same time every kid (or anyone who’s been a kid) knows that being the kid who brought their parents in on it, can make the bullying or ostracism worse.

    As for yoga, I take it as part of my spiritual practices, so as part of that I’ve found it as good for my mental health, if not a cure-all. If you’re skeptical about ideas like chi moving through the body or whatever though, it certainly can also help physically with muscle tension and flexibility, which may help you feel more relaxed, so there is that as a benefit. I’d say stick with it for a bit, like give it a month, and see how it makes you feel and if it’s something you enjoy.

    • The bully has been suspended and we are working on a plan to help my son gain his confidence. He’s a sensitive boy as it is and his asthma and nut allergies don’t exactly endear him to the more rough and tumble boys.

  4. When I tried Yoga, it was great…I just can’t afford the gym membership anymore. Yeah…do it at home you say. Not easy for me to be motivated at home. But keep it up; maybe I’ll go buy a dvd and give it a try again.

    As for your son, I hope things work out. In an early grade, intervention is important. If the school takes this seriously, the young bully will hopefully learn from this…and his parents too.

  5. Hello Ryan,
    I have had a fairly large portion of an outsiders share of mental illness. I am encouraged to see you writing about this issue because it has been ignored by the masses due to ignorance, of course. I’m sure that if I was diagnosed they may find something like, “obsessive hyper sensitive romantic artist disorder”. All kidding aside, I have had three close friends, one with MPD and the other two with schizophrenia. My youngest child who is 26 yrs old, I believe has a form of Aspergers/schizophrenia. To my knowledge he may have been diagnosed but he is estranged from me, and may be in prison now. Just so you know, I admire you for your words that reach out into a world that needs to understand. As to comment on Yoga, It is for most a great activity for the body, and the mind benefits from the body. I am new to running, and running the body helps my mind to take a break. Sometimes I think that my mind works things out best when the body is busy.
    Take care,
    Carol

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