My band heads into the studio today to record a few rough tracks. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t apprehensive. It has been over 12 years since I was last in a studio to record and I forget what I should expect. I’m making way too big of a deal out of this. I haven’t had my coffee yet and my mind wanders aimlessly when I am without caffeine. I have thrown on the True North LP by Bad Religion as it seems to have a relaxing effect on me. I am really quite excited to record some songs as I think the songs we have are quite good for what they are; straight ahead, three-piece hardcore. I’m excited to be able to share it with people as it is the most effective way that I deal with my issues in my head. After I quit my last hardcore band, Far From Over, way back in 2002 or 2003, I was sure that my band playing days were over. I was wrong. Soon after I started a Blues band with a few good guys called Big Papa G and the Chain breakers. That was a fun experience and I think I grew considerably in a musical sense. Still, I wasn’t the music that lived in my heart. When my wife and I moved to Winnipeg in 2005, I joined a group called “The Hummers”. They were a dance oriented band and it was incredible to play with the calibre of musicians that were members. Still, it wasn’t the music that allowed me to express myself to my full potential. After I parted ways with The Hummers, I began writing acoustic songs and posting them to YouTube for others to see. I only played one show with these songs and it was in front of maybe 7 people. After that experience I was pretty close to just throwing in the towel, selling all my guitars and moving on with life. Luckily my wife wouldn’t let me. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that the importance of this music to me is nothing more than a preference. It represents an escape from the pain I feel inside everyday. It is a community that opened it’s door and let me in all those years ago and treated me like a human being. It is a place where people can come together, forget their differences and have a great time. It is a powerful thing. I think my apprehension has more to do with my worry that it won’t give back as much as I hope, but giving a song written from a place of sincerity is one of the greatest gifts one can give.
Ok, I’ve had my coffee now, but I have little left to say. I think the one thing that I always want to portray through my blog and through my music is to always let your voice be heard, no matter what the possible backlash. The only thing worse than offending people with your words is not having said them in the first place. Your opinion matters, your life matters, your wellbeing matters and don’t let anyone tell you any differently. Yes, life is hard and it is unforgiving at times, but to steal from one of the greatest movies of all time, “anyone who tells you differently is trying to sell you something.” I don’t mean to make light of the plight of mental illness, but sometimes humour can snap me back into reality and give me a much more hopeful perspective. Don’t forget that no matter what you have done in your past, or what people have told you, you matter.