I’ve been writing almost everyday since October 3rd, 2013. Somehow I’ve managed to have enough to say each day to make it worth while. Somedays it was almost impossible, but I promised myself that I would do this. This blog has proven to be quite helpful for me. It gives me a means to get out all the turmoil in me and allows me to look back at some posts and analyze how I could have approached the problem(s) differently. It was a bit of a surprise that people were actually using their time to read what I had to say and even though I’m nowhere near astronomical numbers, having 5000 views in 3 1/2 months is pretty damn good. My main goal of this blog has been to get out what’s stuck inside me and to create awareness and hopefully give people the story of a human being who happens to suffer from Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety and Depression. Some people harbour rather outdated views of mental illness mainly because they don’t know anyone who suffers from it. I hope that by being honest about my struggles would allow these people to see that it is real and it is painful. I also hope that others who suffer can come here and realize that they are not alone and that there are people who “get it”. I don’t know if I have been successful in either of those, but I can at least say that I have tried and will continue to try.
I get caught up in the numbers game a little too much. I try to say that I write for me and don’t care if anyone reads it, but reality is that I sometimes get caught obsessing over the amount of views a post is getting. I don’t know what it is that makes me worry about it, but I will sit and refresh hoping to see that number rise and when it doesn’t I tend to take it to heart. That’s something I can work on. In September of 2013 I turned to my wife and said, “I’m going to be a writer.” I should have taken a picture of the panic that filled her face upon hearing that. I’ve been known to suddenly proclaim things that I never outwardly showed interest in before and usually it ends quickly. She assumed I had quit my job on a whim and was now going to park myself in the basement all the while our bill would go unpaid until eventually we were on the street. Of course that wasn’t exactly what I meant, though one day I hope that it could be true. I have surprised even myself with the consistency that I have been writing have another short story blog going at the same time. I guess this post is meant as a pat on my perverbial back for sticking to something even when it’s hard.
I want to thank all of you who read this, or will read this. Thank you!