Fear.

I am absolutely terrified of going to work tomorrow. It’s not merely an “I hate my job” type dread; I am fearful as to what the fallout of me missing Friday might be. I know I shouldn’t care what others think, but there is already a feeling that I do nothing that is shared by more than one person and I know I’m going to have questions to answer and as much as I know my health issues are none of their business, it’s hard to not say something to make him/them shut up. I think the major fear I am fostering is that I may lose my temper and say or do something that will get me in shit or fired. I go straight to the worst possible outcome. I woke up with an already elevated feeling of agitation and thinking about this has brought some violent outcomes for tomorrow. I need to live less in the what ifs and more in the what is. I need to do a lot of things that I’m not doing.

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2 thoughts on “Fear.

  1. It’s be just fine. You’ll see. Here’s a quote for you, “Never cross a bridge before you get to it.” In other words, don’t worry yourself over something that hasn’t (and probably won’t) happened.

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