Us mental illness sufferers are very good at putting on a mask or two or three. I don’t know about you, but I have different masks for different situations. I have my work mask, my guitar teacher mask, my brothers/parents mask, my home mask and whatever other mask that needs to be worn. I know how frustrating this can be, but it is how I can make it through the day. Can you imagine what it would do to sales if I acted completely miserable at work; talking about suicide and pain, and sat around staring blankly? It has gotten easier with time and maybe it will change my brain and make me actually happy. Ok, probably not.
Don’t hate me for being fake. You would hate me for allowing my true feelings show. I can guarantee that. I don’t know about you, but this mask wearing does get exhausting and that is when my temper becomes short and my perpetual sadness comes screaming out for all to see. I’m unsure whether this coping mechanism is more helpful or hurtful and I invite your insight on this one.
Blenderhead – Cesspool seems to sum up a usual day in my head.