I have to make some big decisions. I have been unhappy for far too long and have been perpetuating that unhappiness for far too long. Suffering from Depression and Anxiety makes this new venture a rather difficult one. If you have been reading this blog for a while you have probably drawn the conclusion that my job makes me very unhappy. So I guess the thing to do here is to a) find a way to be happy at my job, or b) find a new job. Both are very difficult things to do. Maybe I should start be speaking to my boss about how to better manage the huge workload I deal with so I don’t feel so overwhelmed all of the time, or just learn that stupid “no” word I keep getting told about. I realize that a lot of my unhappiness is due to my complete lack of confidence in my abilities. At my job I feel so afraid of being found to be a fraud that I can’t say no to anyone and if I look for a new job I feel chronically under qualified for everything. I don’t mean this as a “woe is me” post, but rather a “thinking out loud and inviting input” type post. The fact is I’m unhappy where I am and I don’t have a clue what job would keep me generally happy. What sorts of things help you get through your day? If you love your job, what makes it a great job? I’m curious as to how the rest of the working world survives without losing their mind, especially those who suffer with mental illness.
I don’t want to be miserable, in spite of what you have heard. I really am stuck on this one. I need the money, but is it worth the money if it is going to cause this much anger and misery. It could be that I am the problem and I need to suck it up and just put my head down and keep on keeping on. I know there may be people reading this who I work with and it could end bad for me, but I need some input. Thank you my faithful readers and any new ones!